VANG, Amos

[attr="class","temptitle"]Personality

[attr="class","temptabinf"]Amos has come to enjoy life much more than before, he still has momentary lapses of self loathing. He is often saved from himself by the only person who can, Akira. Akira was the first and only person Amos ever loved. He had several friends, and many many enemies. Amos is skilled in faking emotions, but tried to avoid doing so around Akira, perhaps because Akira can easily see right though it. It is not only Akira's power that allowed him to get close to Amos but the similar souls they have, filled with hurt and need.

Amos is often filled with a peace he never felt before allowing himself to be open with others, his friends, and has come to terms with the fact he is actually a very emotional individual. He enjoys using sarcasm, and still feels like people are waiting their lives and often has a bad taste in his mouth after talking to some of them. The urge to kill sometimes resurfaces with incredibly stupid people, and anyone who dare harm his friends or people who bully those weaker than themselves. Amos has little to no biases he just hates everybody.

Amos has changed quite a bit from the happiness he had felt when he was with Akira. Instead, he has lapsed back into hating himself, being wrought with crippling self loathing and depression most of the time. The only person he hates more than himself, is Luka. Amos goes through most days with his heart basically gone from his chest. He is empty, and feels more than alone in the world. But he believes he deserves this all as punishment for killing his only love. Because of this need to punish himself, he stays with Riku, with no fights, no arguing, and he has never tried to escape. He feels filthy for letting Riku do whatever he pleases to him, but it is, in his mind anyways, no worse than when he had left Akira to go work on the streets, but at least with Riku he never had to be worried about being drugged.

Amos does manage to sneak out every now and then while Riku is away on business, which doesn't happen as often as he would like. When he is out, now that he know's that Akira is alive, he tends to stalk the poor boy. He is rather surprised that Akira hasn't noticed to this point, but to be fair, the boy always seems to be wrought with some sort of drama, or harsh feelings about himself or the world. Amos does enjoy watching Akira's aura shift and change with his mood. Though he misses the bright colors that they used to be.

To everyone else, Amos is rather cold hearted, hating absolutely everyone he ever has to come in contact with. But when he's by himself, he finds himself terribly lonely. As awful as Riku is at times, Amos looks forward to him coming home, just so that he no longer has to feel completely empty inside.

[attr="class","temptitle"]Appearance

[attr="class","temptabinf2"]Amos is albino in nature. Pale skin, reddish eyes, medium length and somewhat messy white hair. He is 5'8" and lean in build, sometimes doesn't eat enough. He has burn scars on his right arm from keeping Akira and Alistair safe, and many slashing cuts across his chest from a certain 'incident' with Luka. Sometimes he will buy the materials to make clothes of his own, which he definitely prefers.

Avery has a sort of tactile problem and only likes to wear soft materials. He also has to wear glasses now, as his vision is not the greatest. He has a lot of scars from being thrown off of a roof. He does prefer neutral greys and blacks and whites over colors, but when he does he likes to wear blues and reds.

[attr="class","tempfaceico"]Face Claim

[attr="class","tempface"][b]NEON GENESIS EVANGELION, nagisa kaworu[/b] as @amos

[attr="class","temptitle"]History

[attr="class","temptabinf3"]Amos was born to his mother when she was raped at the age of 16. Her parents where highly religious and believed abortion to be evil and would not allow her to have one. They kept the child but still called their own daughter a whore, crying over what they did wrong, even though she was the victim. She and her son where kicked out when she turned 18, he was 2. She got the best paying job she could, a prostitute. She did not mind the job, her soul was dead inside anyway. Amos grew up mostly on his own after that, he had to make his own food and clean his own clothes. He was picked on at school for not having a father, and they would call his mother a slut and whore(word they learned from their parents). He got into many fights and trouble at school, animals where his only friend. His eyes became cold and everyone kept away from him, after one kid committed suicide with an apology letter everyone else stopped picking on him. They thought he was weird, and he knew he was. He had always been able to see little bits of color around people, some more than others and soon found out they where their current emotion. He began to associate colors with feelings early on in life, it helped a lot with his art.

His sister was born and Amos changed a little, he took care of her and cared for her. He helped her study and tried to be a good big brother. But he grew to dislike her too, he was always forced to baby sit her and feed her. He barely had enough caring for himself, and now he had to care for her too? He stopped caring for her when she turned 7, he would leave the house as soon as her woke up and wouldn't come back until just before their mother got home. His sister would try to tell on him but their mother didn't care, she just waved it off and went to her room.

His mother was drunk more often than she was sober, about a 80:20 percentile, and started bringing her work home with her. When they would come over, Amos would leave the house, he hated hearing those sounds that came from her room.

He began work as soon as he was able to get a fake I.D, not that anyone in the district he lived in cared about age. He started worked as a waiter in a western style cafe, mostly he wanted to save up so he could leave his house. He spent as little money as possible so that this little bit of a dream could come true.

Amos had started at a school in Japan. There, he met Akira. At first, Amos had every desire to kill the poor boy. Akira made him feel things, made him actually have to deal with his own emotions. And Amos simply wasn't capable of handling that. But Akira had decided to accept him for who he was, flaws and all, which was something no one had ever done for him before.

After finding Akira, many terrible and yet wonderful things happened. Amos grew a deep conscious of what he had done in his lifetime, his own heart began to break as Akira fell in love with him. Amos had been hired by Riku to watch over Luka while he was away, and at the time, Amos had been unaware of their relation. But after awhile, he learned the truth. He brought Akira over while Riku was away, to let him see his brother the first time in many years. He continued to sneak Akira in for almost daily visits. But then one day, everything changed.

Akira had confessed that he loved Amos, and the boy could simply not deal with that. Amos had done the worst thing he could think of to both Akira and his brother, he had returned Luka to his shackles and raped him. He then returned to Akira and did the same to him, and even tried to kill him, trying to make Akira see just how awful of a person that he was. But despite that, he was yet again forgiven by Akira. Amos wasn't able to really live with the guilt of what he had done. This was perhaps the last straw, Amos felt dead inside and left everything behind.

Feeling he had not only sullied his own body, but that of another, and the one he loved, shattered the heart he tried to hard to keep frozen. He went back to his family, more importantly his sister, and she welcomed him with open arms. Again forgiven after all he had done he felt shame. Selling his body for money was nothing compared to what he felt every time he came home to his sister's open arms. Every time he was with someone he could only think of Akira and what he had done to the boy, and cried in his sister's arms as she coo'ed him to sleep as he once did for her.

But eventually he realized that he missed Akira, and regretted what he did so very much. Thinking he was going for another 'call' Amos ended up at Riku's house. The psychopath that always made a mess of things. There he met a split personality of Akira's named Kyou. Kyou tore him down, stripped away every emotion, filled him with all of the hatred and regret that he already had. He begged for Kyou just to end it. But Kyou couldn't. Akira had regained control, and Amos poured his heart out to the boy. He confessed how much he had missed him, and how much he had loved him. Aira forgave him for leaving, and Amos was finally able to forgive himself. After a long time, and a lot of coaching from Akira, Amos found himself rather happy with his life. They dated, and from missing so many classes Amos was held back a grade, but as long as he was with Akira he no longer cared.

The two had been together for around 6 months when Amos cheated on Akira. Akira was rather heartbroken about it, but there wasn't much that he could really do. Once again, Amos packed up and left Akira behind. Amos slowly slid away from happiness, as his relationship turned into a rather abusive one. And once again, Amos found himself at the mercy of someone else. Luka had managed to dig him out of the hole that he had been in. Amos had wanted so badly to crawl back to Akira and beg for the forgiveness he knew he would be given. But Luka wouldn't allow it. Luka was tired of Amos and his shit, and told him that he had a choice to make. Either he turn a knife on himself, or he would make it so that he could never go back to Akira again.

As much as Amos wanted to end his own life, he knew that Akira would be more pissed at him if he killed himself. So he agreed to Luka's little deal. He did go crawling back to Akira, and those few days they had spent together were wonderful. Breathtakingly so. But Amos could not hide his heartbreak much longer.

It was dark, and raining. And Luka had met with him, drawing a seal on him to make him not feel anything. To let the deepest darkest part of him take over to do what needed to be done. Amos would regret this decision for the rest of his life. He had gone to wait for Akira, had waited in that dark alley, paying some random prostitute on the street to be his temporary lover. Akira was met with Amos practically making love to this person in that alley. Amos pulled away and told the random hooker to wait for him at home. The act had been sold. Akira stared at him, his eyes wide with confusion, hurt written all over his face. But still, Akira wanted to forgive him.

Because of the rain, it would have been hard to pick the tears from Amos's face. He and Akira argued, Amos had brought up that Akira had no right to be mad at him because he had slept with Luka while Amos was away. Akira couldn't deny that, as he had done it. Amos was infuriated, he yelled at the poor boy that he hated him, that he never wanted to see him again. Akira begged for him not to go, begged for Amos to forgive him, like he had done so many times. But Amos's heart froze as he saw Luka in the shadows.

Luka controlled Amos, making him stab Akira in the chest. Luckily Amos had missed his heart, but that had not been the original goal. Amos ran off, tears streaming down his face, his heart ripping itself from his chest. Once he was far enough away, he collapsed and screamed out into the night. Luka had come up behind him, and Amos was rather surprised that the raven haired catboy hadn't even gone to make sure that Akira was okay. Instead, he stopped Amos from returning, insisting that the world would be better without Akira in it. Riku came and picked the both of them up, and as far as either boy was concerned, Akira was dead in that alley.

Amos continued working alongside Luka, as much as he hated actually doing so. Everytime he saw the cat boy, his heart ached. He missed Akira something terribly, and he spent every night in tears, mourning the loss of his one true love.

Amos was pissed the day that Luka left. He wasn't sure how or why. But Luka was gone. Riku had informed everyone that Luka had been murdered in the park. There was a bit of news coverage, and Amos couldn't deny what he had felt. He was glad that Luka was dead. He had deserved to die for making Amos kill Akira.

Riku had taken a special interest in Amos shortly after the death of his favorite pet. Now that Luka was gone, Riku had no one to take his aggressions out on, so to speak. Amos was moved to Riku's apartment, and he became the man's personal slave. Amos was used and abused on a regular basis, but at least Riku had never made him into one of his stupid pets. Amos never needed that persuasion. There was nothing for him to live for outside of these walls anyways, and Riku would make sure that Amos lived in his own personal hell. And Amos knew he deserved that.

A few years had passed, and they now resided in London. He wasn't sure why exactly they had moved out here, but he had no choice but to go with him. He had been eavesdropping on a conversation that Riku was having with someone. Luka was alive? Amos stood, staring in utter disbelief at Riku, who shooed him away. But he could tell by Riku's rather pissed off aura that the blonde was not lying. Rishe had seen the boy with his own eyes. Amos was determined to make Luka pay for what he had done to him, and to Akira.

Amos had managed to sneak out while Riku was away on business, and he had managed to get into the files on Riku's computer and found out where Luka was residing. Amos scoped the place out for a few hours, but Luka had not gone in or out. Just as he was about to give up and go home, he saw someone else and his heart just stopped. Akira... Akira was alive...

It had taken a lot of courage for him to approach Akira, and when he did, he learned that he wasn't alone. Akira had.. Moved on.. Well, as much as it hurt, he was happy for him. But he had to make sure that this Michael guy was good enough for the love of his life. So he went to meet him. He didn't want Akira to know, but he was fairly unlucky in that aspect, as Akira found out anyways. Their reunion was quite... Something. Amos tried his hardest to stay out of their lives, but Akira kept getting sick, or he just really wanted to see him, and in the end, he and Michael became friends.

Amos had gotten a rather terrified call from Akira, worrying about Michael, so he decided that he would give him some peace of mind and went to check it out for him, only to discover Michael bleeding to death on the floor of his apartment. Amos had him rushed to the hospital, and stayed with him until he was rushed off to surgery. He stayed until Akira arrived, and stayed until he was able to be released. But something about Michael drew him in. Maybe it was his connection to Akira, or maybe it was his attitude, but whatever it was, Amos drew the courage to ask him out. Akira was rather surprised about it, but accepted anyways, more than happy to have the both of them in his life.

Life was good for awhile, the three of them getting by with little trouble, outside of Kyou and his random tantrums. Amos threw himself into working so that he could get his own place, as comfortable as Akira and Michael seemed having him around all the time, he still always felt like he was in the way. But before he really could, Akira surprised them both with a perfect house, built specially just for them.

For the first time in his miserable little life, he had really felt at home. He was truly happy. Of course, he was rarely ever there, but when he was, he always was glad to have the both of them. Still, he tried to further his goals, actually getting a job in a gourmet kitchen and starting his dream job. He was so thrilled about it, that he hadn't really thought about what effect the long hard hours had on Akira.

He hadn't noticed the change in him right away. Perhaps if he had paid some more attention to him, he could have avoided everything that would happen next...

He had been sleeping when he felt it start. The burning. Whatever connection he had to Akira started to burn away, and took bits and pieces of him with it. His wings started to disintegrate, and really, it just hurt like hell. Michael came crashing in, and he tried to insist that he was fine, but he really wasn't.

The damage that had been done was not easily repairable. Amos found himself avoiding the house, going out of his way to work more hours and even give a friend piano lessons. He wasn't sure why he had ended up there, but he did. He had done something terribly regrettable, but he had definitely paid for it. He wound up being kidnapped and sexually tortured and abused for the course of a week before anyone found him. Michael had been so pissed off about it that he killed the guy.

Again, Amos had insisted that he was fine, but there was definitely damage there. He definitely suffered a bit of PTSD after that, and it was unclear if he ever truly recovered from it.

[attr="class","temptitle"]Information

[attr="class","temptabinf3"]Amos is not originally my character. I got permission from a dear friend of mine to use him in this plot, and he has since grown on me. I have permission to do whatever I want with him, and he is now one of my closest characters. I cherish him dearly, and I am ever thankful to his original owner for allowing me to use him.

Lyrics: Who I Am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K
Other Characters: Right Here